George Carlin turned 70 Saturday. Here are a few quotes from
101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes:
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.” I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed. So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem. The future will soon be a thing of the past. “No comment” is a comment. So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
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