Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Jack Attack - Part III

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

Chained to a chair, tortured, and with the threat of death hanging over him, Jack just wanted something to eat.

Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.

Another-jack-743028When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12"

The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.

Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

Bauer is not word, it is a sentence...A death sentence.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's f#cking beef.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

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